Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
