Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
if only i could text you this smell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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