i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
