I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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