He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
