did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
