Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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