i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
