google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
