why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
