Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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