Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
