can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
