would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
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Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
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