If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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