Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
