Im at strip club and am horny
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
