I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
love makes seman taste better
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
