I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
