its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
