There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize