Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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