I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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