If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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