Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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