Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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