Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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