I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
