his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize