It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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