dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
it's like heaven, but drunker
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
