evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
