Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
