Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
