All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
