Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You ruined the universe
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
