My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Farmville is her only friend.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
