At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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