the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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