The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
