if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
