It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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