so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
