question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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