There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
