bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
