so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
