i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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