he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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