Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
