Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
