***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I still have a little drunk in my system
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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