To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
