He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
