I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
