hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
