Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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