what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm at about main and main street
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
