Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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