I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
